A Power Within

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Pies Poetry And A Pint Of Gin.

GordonsGin

I’ve never made a fancy cake
a malt loaf is really me
I can make a lovely cuppa
so I can always have Assam tea.

I can rustle-up a chicken pie
with the shortest crust you’ll ever find
with a tasty bit of gravy too
but I never make tiramisu,
or even glorious meringues that rise
in heavenly peaks that reach the skies!

I’d rather have a drop of gin
and write a little ditty,
I’m getting on a bit you see
but I really don’t need your pity.
I truly like to dance and sing
with music playing in my ears
a duster in my hand,
like I was seventeen again
as I listen to rock-bands!

I like the music blaring out
put on my heels and gad about,
It gets the work done double quick,
then a drop of Gordon’s, does the trick.

Pies,Poetry and a pint of Gin
my life’s complete, I dream within
of Para-gliding in sunny climes
but to be quite honest I haven’t time.
I’m busy selecting the brightest hues
of brand new hair colours
and when I stand in queues,
I love to listen to the latest chat
of pretty girls who admire my hats!

I love to spray the testers too,
such fun to smell like a famous star
with Chanel and Gucci, I’ll go real far…

Never mind the ‘leccy bill, would
love a new lipstick, better than pills!
Ah! this ones, the one for me
scarlet red, smooth as can be
will make me feel like twenty three,
Pies, Poetry and a Pint of Gin
to dance down street, new life within.

I’ll spend the days reviewing years
I like to write and think a lot
not much one for knitting socks,
nor for mowing or removing weeds,
I think I’ll  move overseas
and sit all day with skirt to knees!                                                                                                                                                                                                                In deck-chair on sand and feet in sea,
with wrinkled face and cigar for me.
I can dance all night in Latin clubs
with swarthy handsome younger coves,
then come home at dawn for a cup of tea,
perhaps I can learn to water ski?

But really all I need is
Pies, Poetry and a Pint of Gin !

Copyright @ Susie Hemingway 2009

It’s Strange How You Know!

Its’ strange how you know as soon as the consultant says “please have a seat” Some how you sense this is not going to go the way you so wish it would. Even chatting to the very pretty receptionist whom we have come to know over these years did nothing to allay my fears. Although Hamada had his bloods taken very quickly on arriving at Haematology yesterday and the waiting for the results was really very short indeed. I found it so difficult to sit patiently and concentrate on anything. Hamada always sits so calmly and yesterday buried his head in an interesting ‘Flight’ magazine. I nearly always listen to something calming on my ipod or read, but yesterday found myself reading the same line over and over again, being an avid reader this is not something that normally happens to me I ‘drink’ words as fast as I can. For me these consultations get more difficult as the months go by. Well a couple of results had not change too much – we are grateful for anything good! – the Haemoglobin was a little lower at 10.1 the Bence Jones was pretty level on last time results at 0.04 and the platelets had even risen a bit to 51. Then doom hits you like a weight sitting on your chest, the not so good… White Cell count now at the lower 1.5 and the Neutrophils at a very poor 0.72! and the dreaded Para.Protein*(M.Spike) is now at an alarming 10.7 !!

We discussed again with the Doctor what plan of action would be next and how far we should allow the Para Protein to rise, before the next battle begins. This depending now on a second Para Protein test done again yesterday,checking and double checking.

The Doctor stills feels Hamada should hold out longer, as he seems well enough in every other respect, some pain in left shoulder, back when moving and Oh! so VERY weary. So the figure of P.P. (M Spike) at 20, was thought to be the bench-mark for Hamada to start with Velcade. This figure of 20 seems high to me? I do understand the need to balance between the very poor blood counts and the rising P.P.
The Doctor also mentioned Revlimid again and this would be their second choice of action. Both extremely harsh drugs that must be considered very carefully.

I am aware of the recent news reports in America about our National Health Service here in the UK. I would like to assure any of our American friends, that what is reported in your press and on television, is nothing like the care and attention we receive here. Our consultant and his team, are well read and very aware of all the innovative work that is being done at such places as Little Rock,Arkansas. They seem very well versed on all the latest medicines and nothing is being held back from Hamada due to cost. Hamada drug regime is approx forty maintenance drugs per day and one 60 micro gram injection of Aranspt Darbepoetin alta, per week. He has been spared nothing and for that, I am eternally grateful. I would welcome any comments on this, email or here, on the decision to wait until the 20 PP mark. Thank you good friends, who bother to leave comments here and for caring to following Hamada’s Journey.

*Myeloma cells characteristically produce and release into either the blood or urine monoclonal proteins. Monoclonal proteins are referred to as either, M-protein, para protein or M spike. They are terms that mean the same thing.
The monoclonal protein is an immunoglobulin and in myeloma cells one or more mutations have occurred in the genes responsible for immunoglobulin production. Typically, the antibody function of the immunoglobulin is lost and since it is not performing it’s antibody function normally, more and more are produced therefore causing an increase in protein levels.

This Time I Spent With You – by Susie Hemingway.

It seems to be like yesterday
this time I spent with you,
inscribed within my heart
rust gold and cobalt blues,
unfurled in beauty of this desert place
in infinite dunes that stretched for always
like endless domes diorama,
asking me to look forever not relinquish,
requesting me to see your life.

The warm winds of the Rub’ Al Khali
blew gently with your love,
like a sacrament anointed
within the centre of my mind,
awash my heart no clemency
the secrets of your soul,
in whirlpools of the desert
that stole my heart as easily
as the lushness of sepia light.

We ran, and fell upon those sands
while ‘drowning’ in the heat,
It seems to be like yesterday
the sands beneath my feet,
it seems to be like always
in this bejewelled world of yours
it seems to be forever
the love from you that pours.

My heart stayed in the desert
and this time I spent with you,

this time I spent with you…

*Rub’ al Khali Arabic الربع الخالي‎), which translates as Empty Quarter in English is one of the largest sand deserts in the world, encompassing most of the southern third of the Arabian Peninsula, including southern Saudi Arabia, areas of Oman and the United Arab Emirates. It can be cruel but it is breathtaking!

Copyright @ August 2009

The Wedding of Miriam and Hubert.

Geds Antique Wedding group 1911 grass injuly 20.
The faces staring out you see
a legacy from the past
linked by love it seems to me
a marriage that will last,
this primed, set and ordered way
made this for Miriam, a special day.

 

The ladies all in hats so fine
brought in boxes and decked in time,
dripping with flowers, covered in lace
see how the little boys know their place.
Brush your hair, pomade at will,
shine your shoes, bring Grandpa’s pills!

 

Sparkling jewels on collars and cuffs
has Aunt Maud brought her muff?
Our handsome pair have walked the aisle
a special breakfast in a while,
but now we must look our best
for Hubert’s ‘heaven’ in nineteen eleven.

 

Don’t forget your gloves or cane,
dear God, don’t let there be more rain!
Bring the chairs for we must pose,
young Jimmy please to wipe your nose.
Are we ready in our places,
a little stern, for happy faces!

 

Poof and Bang! the camera goes
who’d have thought the world would know…

 

All rights reserved with no reproduction of Photo.
Copyright @ August 2009.

 

With special thanks to Ged Tucker for the 1911 Family Photo
and also to Janey  Johnson for the restoration of this wonderful Photo.

“If I Could Dream You Well Again”

 

 

In dreams I make you well again
in the velvet of the night
you run with me in endless flight,
far away in thoughts of long ago
we run on beaches sailing to
deserted islands, strong were the arms
that pulled the boat ashore.,
in dreams I see you there once more.

 

In dreams I make you well again
your long limbs brown and strong
the warm breezes puff at our skin
we swim in blue waters
you touching my nose and cheeks
the droplets of crystal waters
dry with salty streaks,
In dreams the picture never alters
In dreams  I see you there once more.

 

In dreams I make you well again
to walk the sands with me
you standing tall, with eyes so clear
from El Salam  unto the sea,
to see the lighthouse in the bay
for you to breathe that salty air
for you to brush my long fair hair,
In dreams I see you there once more.

 

In dreams I make you well again
in the quiet velvet of the night
the smile that changed my life
from dusk until the light,
in dreams you dance with me
on islands in deep blue seas
close your eyes and dream with me
see those najoods that stand like waves
see those golden seas of sand
see the place you held my hand…

 

 
*  ‘najoods  – Sand Dunes
* El Salem – Favourite Hotel 

 

@ Copyright 2007

A Little Update.


We visited Hamada’s very nice Renal Consultant Ms Little at Lincoln County Hospital today, to receive the good news that Hamada’s Kidneys are still holding without the need for dialysis. We were a little apprehensive as Hamada’s eyes have been somewhat swollen lately and I did have some concerns. We also delivered the 24hr Bence Jones marker test to Haematology once again. Although his cholesterol is very high at 9 and he will now require statins, his weight has improved and although blood remains very poor – Ms Little jokingly announced that he has only 2 white cells! – and the cancer is high, we are still very happy with any good news that can be found in this daily battle. At the weekend, Hamada managed to join the ‘The Big Lunch’* in our village, which was a nation-wide event with many towns, villages and streets participating. I felt this would be good for him to see all our friends and as we had family visiting for the weekend and the event was held outside, quite a safe event for him to attend. A thoroughly nice afternoon unfolded, the picture above was taken at this occasion.
*The Big Lunch = everyone brings a dish or two to make a wonderful feast and we all share and eat together.

"I Wish I Could Untangle You" by Susie Hemingway.

Susie Hamada - Lincoln 2006 
 
See twinkling eyes that dull with pain
eyes once bright as fire flames!
we juggle pills to make it wane
with every day I cry for you,
moving now is hard to do
limbs get stuck, refusing to
unbend and move, as graceful should,
“I wish I could untangle you”
 
Dreams that see you run again
walk the miles that never end
play the games that lovers do
dance forever just us two,
this once strong man
who laughs with me
now has morphine in his tea
instead of  ‘bubbles’ in a glass
thinking of the days gone past…
 
Still we can dance  if  very slow
so legs don’t stumble, I’ll
not let you go, put on
the music hold me tight
and yes, it still feels  very right,
we’ll play the soft and gentle songs
the ones you love, we’ll float along
I’ll watch your singing eyes
and wish I could, until I die,
 
“I wish I could untangle you”
“I wish…I could untangle you.”

 

Copyright @ 2007

 

First written 2007   :but the sentiment is just the same.
“I wish…”

The Waiting Game.

“The Waiting Game” a new poem by Susie Hemingway is on: http://www.susiehemingway.blogspot.com

A Summer Day.

Open Gardens June 2009 050

 

How beautiful this Summer day the colour of the flowers,

to match my mood, I’d like today,  rain and thunder all the way.

The snow and hail they could come, and even lightning too,

If I could take your pain away a hurricane would do.

How beautiful this Summer day, with not a cloud in sight

and there you are again in bed, putting up a fight.

 

The sun is blazing down the rays, and when you turn and smile,

I’ll keep you with me  and that gaze, and never miss the flowers

and if you think I love you less, I’ll long for summer showers.

How beautiful this Summer day the stillness of it all,

the sky is brilliant almost red!  you smile at me and rest your head.

So does it matter the flowers are out does it matter that their blue!

if I could take your pain away, then this is what I’ll do.

 

For then the rays, the lovely sun, the flowers each and everyone,

I’ll keep you and that lovely gaze then this will be my Summer day.

 

@ Copyright 2006

“Open Gardens” by Susie Hemingway

 

Open Gardens June 2009 053 

 

How glorious the gardens
each and and everyone,
how extravagant and bursting forth
with riot of perennial fun,
we wandered down the sunlit lanes
on this our lovely ‘open day’
the splendid evergreens and rose-beds  wide
to narrow scented lavender surprise,
walkways of the greenest hues
from red, to yellows and to blues,
the pinks so soft upon your eyes
geraniums  potted on one side.
Hellebores in groups of six
herbaceous borders in pretty mix,
cabbages, onions and chickens too!
fruits and herbs in stunning views
delphiniums lush in velvet blue
sturdy potatoes in their pots!
leeks , carrots and shallots.
Water features to cool and trickle
fish ponds, rock gardens and plants that tickle!
Many pots and nursery beds
perfumed scented that turn your head.
Arbour’s, enchanting ‘rose cascades’
Ah! what a wondrous pleasant day.
 
What a wondrous pleasant day…

 

All Rights Reserved @ June 2009

A Very English Day

 Open Gardens June 2009 043 Open Gardens June 2009 045 Open Gardens June 2009 044

It was our village ‘open gardens’ day this Sunday, the morning dawned fair and after such preparation from the eleven sensational gardens that would be open to the public, we knew we were in for an exciting and enticing day. Abundant flower drenched bowers, roses dripping in splendour,  colourful arbour’s, covering walkways, plants of  such exotic delights, lawns manicured to perfection, handmade paths so clever in design.  All manner of interest and panoramic views to mesmerize, scents to please the senses and calm and serene borders and textures. Corners of interest and wonderful hidden places to sit and view awhile.  Vegetables crammed and laden, bursting full of goodness and showing skills of years of knowledge and precious tending. For many of the gardens with chickens, ducks and geese producing a self sufficiency with daily  eggs, crops of every vegetable,  fresh and packed full of glorious vitamins.  We feasted on wonderful fare on the stroll around the lanes of this enchanting village, stopping for a ploughman’s lunch with a selection of English cheeses and pickle and a cooling drink at the hottest part of the day. Then peeping into our little church to view the theme displays of flowers, some shown below.  On we went, with ice-cream in hand to end our very English day at the last garden for afternoon tea and delicious cakes and scones laden with strawberries and cream. My photos do not do justice to these wonderful gardens but perhaps will give you my reader a little idea of this heavenly day…

Open Gardens June 2009 048 Open Gardens June 2009 049 Open Gardens June 2009 053

Open Gardens June 2009 037 Open Gardens June 2009 050 Open Gardens June 2009 055

Open Gardens June 2009 060Open Gardens June 2009 062 Open Gardens June 2009 069 Open Gardens June 2009 071 Open Gardens June 2009 088  Open Gardens June 2009 025

A Special Gift.

 

Before A Storm Hemingby 2006A HemingbyVeiw-  Green 2007Hemingby winter scent march07

As most of my readers know, I am very fortunate to live in a lovely Wolds Village in Lincolnshire. Living in such a beautiful  place often  turns up rather special days. The views shown above are  from my windows which especially at this time of the year are magnificent. Always changing  like the seasons, the sheep arriving in the spring and then within a glance the spectacular Lincoln Red Cows have taken their place!  So the ‘pictures’  I see, often change by the hour. I do spend rather a lot of time looking at this  stunning change of scene. Then sometimes a little ‘extra gift’ is thrown into the melting pot of nature. Imagine my surprise when gazing with morning coffee in hand and there standing proudly in my garden was the  most exquisite Peacock. He stood surveying the scene seeming very tame.  Not wanting to frighten him I crept closer with camera in hand. He later accepted some bird seed and small nuts and enjoyed a chat staying for the day, sitting on my wall in the dark and then returning again for the next three days. I was sad to see him go but  Mr Peacock was last seen walking down the lanes of this very special Village What a  gift!

Roses and a peacock @ Hemingway June 2009 012 Roses and a peacock @ Hemingway June 2009 027 Roses and a peacock @ Hemingway June 2009 004

"Calm Are These Days"


Soft jade green and mellow amber
are the colours of these days,
soft green like finest cashmere
I’d wish to wear in special ways,
liquid amber of runny butterscotch
poured gently smooth on silky creams
calm like soothing sax at midnight
seems to be the current scene,
days unfold like gentle ripples, lapping
clear against the shore and you
as peaceful as the morning vista
that glistens across land we adore.

Calm and peaceful for a while
like soft vowels in lovers breath,
warm and sweet like feather touch
a pause infinite and needed
Oh! so very much…
Then days that came like brightly coloured
Peacock that arrived in view,
we sat together admiring beauty
no ‘grey life’ was meant for you!
Colours shimmering a Midas touch,
treasures of the purest nature
“thank you Lord” this means so much.

Soft jade green and mellow amber
are the colours of these days,
then turquoise blues of dazzling splendour
arrived for us along the way
like prismatic rainbow over Maui
or amber sunsets falling West
just as clear as morning dew
with glistening eyes – I drink this view.

All Rights Reserved @ June 2009.
Photo taken by Susie Hemingway
( The Peacock visted for three days )

Continuing – Update

Hamada’s consultation this week with his ‘Dr Angel’ at Lincoln County was thorough and certainly without time limits. Dr Angel went slowly through all the stats and very little has changed. Haemoglobin up a notch at a lowly 10.3, White Cells up a little at 1.9, Neutrophils up at 0.72 Platelets down again to 42 Everything else is about the same, but as we anticipated Para-protein is up again from 8.4 to 8.8 Bence Jones reading is now at 0.04.
The outcome is the same, we must wait and monitor. Just maintenance drugs daily but not including any Chemotherapy. Again the Consultant discussed Velcade and the newer Revlimid both of which Hamada has not tried, but still the consultant’s considered opinion is not yet. Hamada remains very weak, sleeping more than 16 hours per day! but has in recent weeks made two celebration evening dinners out, so is feeling very pleased with himself. We are grateful for these peaceful calm days without the trauma of harsh Chemotherapy.

~ Susie’s BBC Interview Link ~

The link to Susie’s BBC Interview with Judy Theobald is shown below the Poem ” Love Smiles”

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