A Power Within

Author: Susie Page 16 of 30

A Special Gift.

 

Before A Storm Hemingby 2006A HemingbyVeiw-  Green 2007Hemingby winter scent march07

As most of my readers know, I am very fortunate to live in a lovely Wolds Village in Lincolnshire. Living in such a beautiful  place often  turns up rather special days. The views shown above are  from my windows which especially at this time of the year are magnificent. Always changing  like the seasons, the sheep arriving in the spring and then within a glance the spectacular Lincoln Red Cows have taken their place!  So the ‘pictures’  I see, often change by the hour. I do spend rather a lot of time looking at this  stunning change of scene. Then sometimes a little ‘extra gift’ is thrown into the melting pot of nature. Imagine my surprise when gazing with morning coffee in hand and there standing proudly in my garden was the  most exquisite Peacock. He stood surveying the scene seeming very tame.  Not wanting to frighten him I crept closer with camera in hand. He later accepted some bird seed and small nuts and enjoyed a chat staying for the day, sitting on my wall in the dark and then returning again for the next three days. I was sad to see him go but  Mr Peacock was last seen walking down the lanes of this very special Village What a  gift!

Roses and a peacock @ Hemingway June 2009 012 Roses and a peacock @ Hemingway June 2009 027 Roses and a peacock @ Hemingway June 2009 004

"Calm Are These Days"


Soft jade green and mellow amber
are the colours of these days,
soft green like finest cashmere
I’d wish to wear in special ways,
liquid amber of runny butterscotch
poured gently smooth on silky creams
calm like soothing sax at midnight
seems to be the current scene,
days unfold like gentle ripples, lapping
clear against the shore and you
as peaceful as the morning vista
that glistens across land we adore.

Calm and peaceful for a while
like soft vowels in lovers breath,
warm and sweet like feather touch
a pause infinite and needed
Oh! so very much…
Then days that came like brightly coloured
Peacock that arrived in view,
we sat together admiring beauty
no ‘grey life’ was meant for you!
Colours shimmering a Midas touch,
treasures of the purest nature
“thank you Lord” this means so much.

Soft jade green and mellow amber
are the colours of these days,
then turquoise blues of dazzling splendour
arrived for us along the way
like prismatic rainbow over Maui
or amber sunsets falling West
just as clear as morning dew
with glistening eyes – I drink this view.

All Rights Reserved @ June 2009.
Photo taken by Susie Hemingway
( The Peacock visted for three days )

Continuing – Update

Hamada’s consultation this week with his ‘Dr Angel’ at Lincoln County was thorough and certainly without time limits. Dr Angel went slowly through all the stats and very little has changed. Haemoglobin up a notch at a lowly 10.3, White Cells up a little at 1.9, Neutrophils up at 0.72 Platelets down again to 42 Everything else is about the same, but as we anticipated Para-protein is up again from 8.4 to 8.8 Bence Jones reading is now at 0.04.
The outcome is the same, we must wait and monitor. Just maintenance drugs daily but not including any Chemotherapy. Again the Consultant discussed Velcade and the newer Revlimid both of which Hamada has not tried, but still the consultant’s considered opinion is not yet. Hamada remains very weak, sleeping more than 16 hours per day! but has in recent weeks made two celebration evening dinners out, so is feeling very pleased with himself. We are grateful for these peaceful calm days without the trauma of harsh Chemotherapy.

~ Susie’s BBC Interview Link ~

The link to Susie’s BBC Interview with Judy Theobald is shown below the Poem ” Love Smiles”

Dreams Of Montazah – by Susie Hemingway

 

p49435-Alexandria_Egypt-El-Montazah_Palace

He dreams of Montazah
the palace within his mind
as he is quietly resting
I know he goes back in time,
the splendid ‘Salam-lek’ palace
built high on hills above
this turquoise studded jewel
secluded bay, entwined with doves.

 

Amid the palms stands clearly
this monument of  love
built from finest red bricks
a blessing from above,
smooth and graceful standing proud,
with white ‘najoods’ and sea around,
he would walk in verdant grounds
in peaceful harmony, no sound.

 

The quiet of these gardens
lush all, 370 fed-dans,
would take his heart in a myriad walk,
his feet on fine white sand.
He dreams of  Montazah, the palace,
always within his mind
this paradise inn of time,
he enters gates that keep the crowds at bay
which for him are opened every single day,

 

and when he’s tired of strolling
I know just where he’ll go
leaving  gazelles and rock gardens
and the flowers he loves so,
he’ll step across the water
to the island of all time
where classical statues never alter,
in plethora there to stand,

 

and here he’ll fish or flirt,
or swim, in sunlit sheltered bays
and for a little while,
he remember all those days,
“Montazah” keeps him peaceful
I see the smile again, and when
he sleeps tomorrow,
he’ll go right back again…

 

* najoods – sand dunes
   fed-dans – measurement of land.

 

All Rights Reserved @ 2007 

The Eyes Of Pride – by Susie Hemingway

Brown they are you know,
big and shiny like Autumn conkers
fringed and dark charcoal smudges
emitting beams like fireflies,
seeing all but telling no one,
meditative powerful authority
once of lushness,
the eyes that could bewitch a maiden
now a little faded perhaps rheumy
one might say, yet could in a blink
seduce and tempt to lead astray…
the eyes that tell the story
the eyes that show their pride,
watchful ebony pigments that
twinkle indiscreetly like
magnificent coal diamonds,
templates of sadness
still, such infinite eyes of pride.

Hamada Makes It! – As Sure As….

As readers to this blog already know I chronicle here, a continuous register of updates and poems telling of Hamada’s journey with the difficult disease of Multiple Myeloma. A most complex illness to treat and stage, with at the moment, no known cure. Still for many people it can be managed well if diagnosed early. Hamada was diagnosed when the Myeloma had attacked his kidneys and was in eighty percent of his blood-steam. So you will understand his courageous battle with this disease.
Hamada was very keen that I record his progress or lack of, during this journey to perhaps help others. So you will appreciate that my poems must be and are, from my true feelings and watchfulness as the days go by. Hamada is currently out of remission but is not undergoing any Chemotherapy treatment at the moment,with only maintenance drugs prescribed, in the hope that he will become a little stronger to try again any remaining chemotherapy drugs. that he has not tried before.

So it was with great delight this weekend that although very weak and sleeping for best part of everyday, he managed to courageously find enough energy to join in Son Matt’s 40th birthday evening celebration, at a very nice local Inn for a splendid family meal together. He had so desired to be there, was determined beyond all measure to make it… so ‘As Sure As’ with a little help from family members, Hamada made it to the Blue Bell Inn. He enjoyed so much this very important celebration although not moving much at all the following day and resting continuously since. Well done Hamada, I know what it took to manage this and I am so very proud of you Habibi.

As Sure As – A Lament by Susie Hemingway.


As sure as the sun rises
in the East everyday
as sure as your smile
lights-up the room where you lay
as sure as this calamity
life robs in this way,
as sure as my anger
snags through this pain,
as sure as the worried looks,
painted on the faces of friends
I see, there will be no gain.

As sure as the rippling tide
ebbs again to flow,
as perpetual stride comes
in the darkness I know,
as soft light fading
to soothe for a while,
how pointless this shattered glass
I hold in my hand…
for as sure as faded petals fall
from the ‘roses’ on your face,
as sure as your dark eyes
keep looking for me,
I’ll breathe and breathe again
so you will never see…

As sure as the gibberish words that I write
as sure as day, comes after night
as sure as this ache that grips at my heart.

As sure as….

All Rights Reserved @ June 2009

Photo: Courtesy of Matt Rutherford.

"I Dreamt" – For Matt and Jo

 
Matt and Jo - Els Graduation 
 
 
I dreamt of having boys you know
a thousand years ago,
tall strong  bright eyed boys,
who’d make me laugh as I grew old,
good honest loving boys
with values and a  ‘Joie de Vivre’
two boys would be just right I thought
to stand with me in times of strife,
that they would be – seamless friends,
I could not ask for more.

 

I dreamt  I would ignite their courage
infuse – to follow all their passions
and watchful for eternity I saw,
their dreams painted on perfect smiles
as brushstrokes make a painting,
and a sapling  makes a tree…
a thousand years ago
my boys did come to me,
I dreamt of having boys you know
a thousand years ago…

 

sometimes dreams snap and break
but sometimes dreams come true.
 
 
 
In Honour Of Matt’s 40th Birthday. June 2009
All Rights Reserved @ June 2009

Finding Something That Chills!

Hamada continues much the same, sleeping his way through most days, bless him. He is trying to conserve/find some energy for a forthcoming special event. Son Matt’s
40TH Birthday, when the whole family will be here for a long weekend. We hope to make this a very special occasion and so we need Hamada, if he can of course, to be able to join us – at a very special place, for the evening celebrations. So fingers crossed for that.

I have recently been playing the new CD of Melody Gardot, this music of the ‘sleepy Jazz type’ that Hamada and I love, it seems to have such a relaxing effect on us both, we imagine dancing together as we did just a few years ago – see my poem “We Dance Again” below.

If you would like something to take your mind of ‘horrid things’ and I know many readers here do. Try the lovely sound of Melody Gardot and her new CD “My One And Only Thrill” Listen to the enchanting “Our Love Is Easy” and the sensual track of the named album, “My One and Only Thrill” and the very delicious “Deep Within The Corners of My Mind” – I so wished I had written that! The wonderful orchestral backing which is quite perfect runs through these tracks, so if you are stressed and worried, this is indeed, very ‘good medicine’ as it takes you easily on a much needed journey…

Love Smiles – By Susie Hemingway

 

may-roses-2009-023 

 
Although you’re down and feeling blue
a little bit dreamy not wanting to
talk or read,  I understand,
just love smiles will do…

 

I’ll wrap you soft as feather down,
and feed you from a silver spoon,
bewitch you with procured delights
just return those love smiles tonight.

 

I’ll fill the room with bergamot
and camouflage  your pain,
find the crystal glasses
and then I’ll pour champagne,

 

unstring my heart like oyster’s pearls
enthral at just one glance,
if you can muster just for me
a ‘love smile’ when I glance.

 

I’ll soften all those noisy vowels
when cooing gentle mantra,
and even toast some butter crumpets
or pick a  Shakespeare rose…

 

and as the peace from pain
like absolution comes,
as when the scent pungent and loved
reaches to your nose,

 

smile for me beloved one
those ‘love smiles’ that I know…

 

All Rights Reserved @ May 2009

www.myeloma.org.uk

Susie’s BBC Radio Interview with Judy Theobald


You can hear Susie reading on the third anniversary of Hamada’s Diagnosis with Multiple Myeloma “I Write for You” and also the full BBC radio interview on the Judy Turnbald Morning Show on, http://susietest.stff.me
Under the Categorie – Site News

~ My wonderful congratulation flowers shown above ~

Cairo – by Susie Hemingway

 
GreatSandDunesNationalMonument

 

Oh Cairo of the sepia light
empurple in the late of night,
the sparkling rays on marble stones
the quickest steps and gleaming domes.
The narrow streets and alleyways
the different smells the different ways
the hookah pipes, the mint tea trays,
Oh Cairo and your faded ways.

 

The empyrean of mosaic mosques
The many souks and little shops
the hot and dusty lives we lived
the little child with flower to give.
Street cafe’s where everyday
we sat and watched,
in wondrous gaze
Oh Cairo, I remember all those days

 

The perfume shop where we paid
to smell like ‘Chloe’ in a way!
the special time with special friends,
we thought that is would never end.
Halcyon days spent with you
enticing splendour of garnet hue
twinkling stars in darkest night
Oh Cairo of the sepia light.

 

The dark robed men
with beads and dice,
delicious honey with special spice,
the bright and silky lengths of cloth,
tahina, lentils in a a pot .
Can you recall that magic place?
for I can see your handsome face
Oh Cairo of the sepia light.

 

All Rights Reserved @ 2007

Up-Date

Hamada continues comfortably, still sleeping for about sixteen hours per day. He enjoys all his meals and eats remarkably well. For some time I have been looking at the benefits of ‘Curcumin’ and the very encouraging documentation regarding this supplement for sufferers of many ailments, in particular Multiple Myeloma. Of course it is always a difficult choice to make when deciding to try any addition to the already large amount of maintenance drugs taken daily and the advise of consultant must always be taken into consideration. For many, these extra supplements do seem to help and we were very thoughtful and a little excited about something that could potentially help Hamada. The biggest concern was of course his ailing Kidneys, although much better than at diagnosis, are still a cause for concern. Also the greatest factor, his extremely low Platelet counts (44).
So today when receiving information from the Scientific Panel of a leading distributor of Curcumin here in the UK, confirming that this supplement does indeed have an anti platelet effect and the potential for exacerbation of low platelets,we have decided not to pursue Curcumin further.

Home For Tea – May 2009

 

  May 11 2009 Tea Cups 005

 
You rest in doctors room the struggle great,
deep in reverie while you wait
as musing you gaze, far from me
I wish we could be home for tea…
but more than this, my wish for you
to not have this life of waging war,
to beseech and plead the pain away
this fervency of another day.
I wish I could bewitch this ‘beast’
to lure in cruel felony at least,
I wish we could be home for tea…

 

To listen and note every word
erroneous statements, you must see
as babble on, this fallacy
I ask for more, that will not be,
I wish we could be home for tea…
your shoulders crumple, your limbs are weak
but still you smile, polite, unique,
me bitter and hissing I sag within
this undeserved and stricken life
goes through my heart as doth a knife
I wish we could be home for tea
Oh! I wish we could be home for tea…

 

 May10 2009 013

 

All Rights Reserved @ May 2009

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