~Competition piece to raise funds for St Margaret’s~
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Distant dreams of long ago
from far away, the memories come
of tousled heads and clean white gloves
as crumpled down the socks did fall
when stepping high, to different world.
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Steel on steel, hoot and chug
as fire burns the toiling brings
smoke from stoke in iron heat,
to huff and puff as loco runs.
Excited hearts, new strange smells
of coal, oil like warm sweet sulphur reaches
noses pressed flat against the windows gaze,
as little legs felt prickly seats and polished sills;
to watch this world of passing scenes.
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We sat with Mum in pretty hat and
Dad along in Sunday best, of blue and shiny shoes,
enchanting dreams of long ago…
Of passing fields green and sweet,
of newly seen cows and sheep.
The engine massive trundles strong,
huge with brass, enamelled and long,
on rails that sped us on and further on…
As power for steam from fire it runs
on winding rails and signals seen
captivating world that passed
we sat entranced, in life so different
from one we knew,
enthralled to captivate enchanting views.
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The stations pass in colourful flowers
brightly tucked in buckets and troughs,
with sharp polished names of Truro and St Erth;
the joys of travel the fun and mirth.
Delightful wonder at every bend,
as windows down our heads did send
hair blowing in the wind;
the squeals in tunnels that never end.
As porters smart in flat blue hats,
lift cases and trunks in bustle and flap,
of come and go with whistles blown,
we gaze as if in misty dream,
as doors bang shut, huff and puff
smoke and toil, coal and steam,
to make it so.
And on we go…
And on we go, in distant dreams…
of long ago…
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A Remembered Journey on The Cornish Riviera Express -1950
The Cornish Riviera Express is a British express passenger train that has run between London and Penzance in Cornwall since 1904. Introduced by the Great Western Railway the name Cornish Riviera Express has been applied to the late morning express train from London Paddington Station to Penzance Station continuously through nationalisation under British Rail and privatisation under First Great Western only ceasing briefly during the two World Wars.
Photos: Courtesy of Peter R Foster.
Photo: Across To Granada from Susie's Collection:
Scroll down in the comments to read the moving letter from Karen on http://susietest.stff.me/2013/05/07/the-fight-without-choice/
Time to update ‘My Diary’ I think, having been very quiet here of late but my life has certainly been rushing on a pace in these last few weeks.
Having been lucky to have had a wonderful trip across southern Spain from Alicante and then up through enchanting Granada and on to magical Seville in Andalusia. Returning to a lot of catching-up in the garden, family visits and many chores needing to be done around my little home here in the Lincolnshire Wolds, more writing and with three or four trips to the gym weekly, I have been most remiss here – so a little about my travels first:
I started  my journey flying into Alicante, the old place never seems to change much over the years but of course there are many changes from my first visit there in the 60’s
I so enjoyed it this time, good to give it a ‘once over’ again and the chance to walk everywhere, as it was not the boiling temperatures of mid-summer. I relished the leafy back lanes away from the main streets although I did stroll the entire length of the main promenade one early morning – the port in Alicante is so pretty in the early morning light with its affluence of beautiful yachts and speed boats set in quite chic surroundings- here it is much updated in recent years, with it’s chrome filled restaurants and espresso smelling coffee shops but it still retains some of its original charm and as usual out of season for me, it always looks it’s best. Staying in a great little boutique hotel which was set in a small alley just behind the main street, not plush in anyway but having everything needed for a short stay, a one-step too for the restaurants and bars and perfectly near for late night strolls.
After a few days it was on the road for a mammoth one day journey of 595 km across the southern part of Spain ending in Seville. The roads are so good here and It was wonderful to see the Sierra Nevada’s in the distance.
Granada was delightful and I need to go again to cover more of this enchanting city but no journey is complete without a visit to Alhambra which is of course everything that is written about it. Time was short there but I felt the ambiance of this magical place and it is on my agenda to return again and spend some study time there.
Seville is for me everything you imagine inland Spain to be, truly abundant and steep in rich cultural heritage. Best to divided the central area into four parts to make sightseeing a little easier, La Macarena, El Arenal, Santa Cruz and Parque Maria Luisa and then across the river which really makes up a fifth part.
No one can go to Seville and not take in the Cathedral and La Giralda, Reales Alcazares and the Museo de Bellas Artes but there is so much more. The wonderful warren of white alleys of the Barrio De Santa Cruz in the old Jewish quarter appealed to me greatly. It is a most picturesque corner of the city. Full of wonderful little shops and tapas bars and the atmosphere on a warm spring evening is electric. Wonderful for a late evening stroll with a promise of a good dinner at the end. I was so lucky to stay in a super Hotel here in Seville, with all the lovely special things to make the stay even more pleasurable and so able to re-coup a bit for the next days sightseeing. There is so much to see and I could not cover it all but I promise myself to visit this lovely part of Spain again God willing…
And so I returned to London just in time for a grand reunion with 130 old friends from my days in the desert of Al Ain in the UAE – we took over the Ruby Room in “Jewels” a London Nightclub, to meet up again after 25 years. A super evening was had by all and the plans are in place for the next one to be held back in Al Ain in 2015 – I sincerely hope to make that!
And so to conclude – I have been spending my days since my return with some good work around my little home – replacing much needed worn fencing in the rear of the property, gardening, and general up-keep, although it never looks much different I must try to keep the old homestead going and at least neat and tidy.
I have also been lucky to have had some really super dates and lovely dinners out and a recent trip to a pop concert, which was totally wonderful and took me back to years ago and the lovely music of that time, it was difficult not get up and dance!
So my friends, life goes on a pace and as I am lucky to be well, my  intentions are to thoroughly  enjoy this part of my life. I am returning to Marbella later this year and I am so looking forward to that but will not wish my life away and so I make the most of each given day in quiet ways – for life is good. All best wishes to my dear friends who continue to read here – I pray for those who need comfort in times of ill health and for those caring for their precious loved ones.   Stay strong and may many blessings come your way. We will chat again soon.
“The tears that you spill, the sorrowful, are sweeter than the laughter of snobs and the guffaws of scoffers.” –from “A Handful of Sand on the Shore”
Khalil Gibran
Feeling sad and cross today at the passing of yet another good Man to the dreadful disease of Multiple Myeloma. My heart goes out to dear Karen at the loss her beloved Hugh suddenly at the weekend. I have posted below a poem written in 2009 which sums up my feelings today. This poem was written at the height of my anger at such a hateful disease.
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May Karen find the solace she so deserves during these sad days and in the coming months. Much is now being done to find a cure but we so need more research into this difficult and most awful disease that appears for some reason to be on the increase.
All blessings dear Karen and  rest in peace dear Hugh.
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THE FIGHT WITHOUT CHOICE.
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It was never a choice was it?
It sneaked in and through
along and around,
this nasty wicked beast that coursed
along the channels of our lives.
It tangled and tried to spoil,
bent, broke, quietened and flawed,
it tried to rob, steal if you may
inflict damage and take away.
It encumbered, hampered, distressed and sapped,
this dark encroacher that went too far.
Still it did not spoil or mar
Love twixt us two,
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this fight… without choice…
One hundred and thirty old friends converged on a London night club, for ‘Jewels’ we all are! To reminisce we must – to reminisce we did. For were we not the pioneers of those desert days? For did we not help shape things to come? “I knew your husband” one sweet man said.  “I remember your face” said another. We squealed with delight when across a close friend we came. Pretty ladies exchanged their gifts of words, their memories and their smiles, as music from those ’80’s days played loud and clear, our thoughts returned to the hot indolent days and torpid nights of our treasured paradise, merging with the vibrant dancing that was now.
Handsome men stood together, enjoying their beers, remembering Rugby on stony terrain and Hash House Harriers running through ‘najoods’ in boiling arid heat. Oh yes not much was forgotten at the desert reunion! Sweet memories of twinkling nights atop Jebal Hafeet, the tastes and smells of the “Golden Sheep” “The Hilton” and “The Intercont”. Cooling sun- downers at the end of a sweltering day, the brushstrokes of these clear memories like a perfect piece of art. Friends made in a life together under a turquoise sky, bonds made in this desert oasis that will not be broken even though years pass.
Our laughter in London was an echo of past times, still beautiful now with the changing years. Stay well dear friends until we meet again… Â Â Susie Hemingway Moursi
For sometime now I have received requests for my “Poems of Love” to be made into Audio Tapes. Recently a dear friend from Sweden asked me to please considered this again, so he may upload them to his phone to carry with him. He had enjoyed listening to my poem ” I Write For You”, read during the BBC interview, and he would like to hear more. This dear man also suffers with Multiple Myeloma and so of course I wish to support MMÂ as much as I can.
It has now been deemed viable for me to record a selection of my readers favourite poems from over the past years. Already I have had requests for ones that are personally liked from my book “The Power Within” and also ones that were not included in the book but are still on www.susiehemingway.blogspot.com and here too from more recent poems.
So I will be going into the recording studio at the beginning of May to record a selection of my love poems.
Dear readers, should you have a poem of mine that you would like to hear me read, please leave the title in the comment section below or email me and I will endeavour to include your favourite in the first recordings.
If I could let you go as a flower lets
its petals fall one by one when life is finished,
unfettered, unbinding, unattached,
what a release that would be.
If I could one by one let loose these ties between us
let them fall and float to safely keep,
and so to live again.
I would,
if I could.
If I could shed my yearnings like an Autumn tree
that loosens it grip on burnished leaves
what joy that would be!
To bury those petals and leaves alongside my love
as a healing token to keep safe, to store my love.
I would – if I could.
For love lies sleeping in my heart
like a beautiful flower or a strong tree
which will not die or season change
which will not release me,
but will endure for all time.
If I could let you go.
Surely I would – if I could… .
Life continues as days creep into Spring
the darkness leads to lighter hours,
blizzard grey days turn away
and the ache in your heart weakens.
Did you hear the birds singing today?
Sweet melodious sounds of daffodil days,
the sky was a hyacinth blue of hope
as green shoots of a different life arrive.
The proud majestic swans walk the banks of the river Bain
stretching their long necks to reach towards the sun,
the river high, cross and angry with the world
as a face of courage captures strength,
my soul swoops and enters into my heart
as sadness flies away on the wings of time.
The Winter is over, the dark days are done.
Gentleness pursues my life now, kindness enhances it,
delight embraces it.
Solace appears at my door
And so it goes.
And so it goes…
This poem is dedicated to Karen Caraven Hannon and to Susan Patterson who both need your prayers at this time.
For those following our story-Â a small extract from a recent email from Susan:
Dear Susie,
On my return home there were so many things I wanted to tell Dan, especially about my visit with you. Oh how to say all I wanted to say to him and to you. I can tell you that my meeting with you was the highlight of my trip.  Finally, there was someone who understood completely my journey of 7+ years.
I have this lovely image of you standing on the train platform, so beautiful and so welcoming. I will never forget that minds eye
picture and I will be forever grateful for your trek to meet the American. The day was so perfect and so English. Bless you.
I have replayed our conversation many times and try to see myself in two years, in control of my tears and my life. You give me hope that I can get through the muck and mire and feel a tad more whole again.
Aren’t we lucky when all is said and done?
Your sister in spirit and love, Susan.
It was a treasured seamlessly perfect, poignant day. A day when two ladies who had experienced and sadly completed the same ‘journey in life’ came together after five years of correspondence to meet at a little country station in Stamford, Lincolnshire, England. The oh so brave Susan wife of the late Dan Patterson from Colorado, came by rail from London with no working cell phone( having been informed it would work in the UK) and no means of contacting me should she become lost or miss her rail connections but thank goodness arriving safely at this small country station.
I had planned my journey carefully to make sure I was there at the station to meet Susan, no easy feat as living in a rural location and driving across country, it is often difficult to plan journey times precisely, as often you are caught behind a tractor slowing your journey to a snails pace and the weather conditions of late have brought some flooding to country locations. Still I was there in good time and asked the Station Master could I cross the little bridge and wait for my dear American friend whom I had never met before or even seen her face in a photo, but so wanted to be there to greet her on the platform as her train arrived from London. He was keen to oblige and smiled warmly at the lady wrapped up well against the chilling wind of this bright blue very exciting day, that “simply must be” on the platform to meet her American friend – he smiled the tired smile of some men when confronted with forceful requests – lucky I live in a country location – can you imagine getting on the platform at Charing Cross without a platform ticket!
I settled in the waiting room checking the neon overhead timetable every few moments excited but concerned that I would managed to find my far travelled friend. The train draw into the station perfectly on time ( thank you British Rail for not letting me down) and I held my breath as I searched the carriages for a lady similar age to me for that was all I knew ( you don’t really discuss hair colour when you are talking of grief do you?) and there, smiling the biggest smile was this supremely beautiful expectant face peering and waving out of the compartment window. Susan stepped onto the platform and straight into my arms – we hugged and hugged and smiled, laughed and cried all at once!   We kept looking into each others faces and it was as if we had known each other for a lifetime!
I had wondered what we could do for the day that would make it a little different -for a short day – for a dear friend from the ‘other side of the pond’ and so I settled on a visit to the beautiful majestic Elizabethan house of “Burghley” that was just a short drive away. We needed a good setting for this memorable day, we also needed plenty of good coffee and a fine luncheon. So having left my car in the station car-park so wanting to focus my attention entirely on this lovely lady I arranged a taxi to and from this historic inspiring grand home of William Cecil the first Lord Burghley (1520-1598) and still the home of the Cecil family. I asked the taxi driver to please make a detour around the very attractive town of Stamford so my visitor may see the medieval core of 17th century stone buildings and some much older timber framed ones. He was happy to oblige of course seeming proud of this little town.
It was a chilly blowy day with a lazy bitter wind but blue skies prevailed across our green land and peaceful pastures. We  spent time admiring the grounds and the beautiful façade  of this great house with the gentle roaming deer and wonderful views of proud noble trees and even though in bleak winter the sun shone for us and the pastures held their green.
And so it goes that two woman that only found each other through great sadness and just because a boyhood friend of Dan Patterson’s who was saddened beyond belief with the thought that he was to lose his greatest companion, trolled the internet for understanding of the wretched disease of Multiple Myeloma. This rare illness that had befallen both our men and Dan’s kind friend who happened across my little blog of love poems that had insisted that Susan read of the trials and tribulations of another  woman on the other side of the world, just like her, going through exactly the same sadness as her and her beloved Dan. Susan read my simple poems, came back again and again and the connection  was made. Every so often over the years I would receive a comment from Susan and then the emails began and the bond was made. Just two woman from other sides of the world, coming together in their grief.
And so with much joy, many tears, and many many words, we had our delicious coffees together and a splendid luncheon in the pretty Orangery Restaurant at Burghley. Not moving from the restaurant for several hours – five in fact! So many private words were spoken, so many tears were shed. Such a lovely, beautiful lady cut down with this heart wrenching grief, having just lost her beloved Dan only five months before but with such utter bravery and desire to meet the friend who had tried to help and understood only too well the dreadful grief she was feeling now. It was like I had known Susan all my life, experienced all of her pain and understood everything about the fight to try and help her husband to live, the time of profound caring and her complete love for this good man.  We talked and talked a mirrored image, back and forth in these beautiful surroundings, filling the hours completely. And so dear readers, yes it was just as it should have been, the sharing of grief, the understanding between two woman  of all we had been through and just as we knew it would be  our friendship was sealed…
Tomorrow is such a special day as I am planning to meet Susan from Colorado here in Lincolnshire.  As readers to my blogs will know I have been ‘virtual’  friends with Susan for many years now. Susan is the other half of “A Letter Between Two Woman” which had been published here and shown below. We ‘came together’ across the many miles between us through the similarities of our situations. Susan was married to Dan whom she lost to Multiple Myeloma in 2012.
We already feel we know each other well and I am very excited to finally meet her. I shall update you all with our planned day – this will be such fun as although, through reading my blogs dear Susan has seen my face and feels she will know my face in a crowd, I on the other hand, have never seen a photo of her – so let’s hope we finally get together – watch this space.
Calm are the seas I travel now,
the sail is down,
how tranquil is the ocean.
I drift past the deserted islands
with their scattered palms and
fallen coconuts,
I lay on the deck, with bronzed
skin and a salty mouth.
Calm are my seas as
I remember you with love…
The soft magnolia smell of warm breezes
whispers through my hair,
all is blue, placid and serene,
You are here in my memory beloved.
Always as essential as the mainstay.
Calm are my seas now…
Dear Susan,
Firstly sincere apologies for not replying sooner. I have been busy having a birthday, so went South to visit my family staying over with my youngest son and spending a joyous time with a friend. All was wonderful and I was spoilt at all quarters. I am indeed a lucky lady!
Now the weather here in the Village is as dismal as can be, with much rain and the chilly winds blowing the orange and golden leaves into messy piles with puddles forming along the lanes.The trees taking on the look of black scarecrows waving their long arms. The afternoons are early dark so the evenings and nights appear longer. I am already longing for the Spring…
I read your letter and could feel your pain leaping from the page. Days now for you are the hardest and for all those in early grieving not easy. For folk who have never lost a loved one it is hard for them to imagine the engulfing all consuming pain, that threatens at times to overwhelm. The confusion you feel right now I can remember so well. The waking and the terrible feeling of loss that floods your consciousness is hard to bear but we do bear it you know. As time goes by, we can for part of the day desire to remember so fondly, these special loves of ours. And so as the months pass by it will get better and not be so painful – I promise you this. Going backwards and forward in the path of grief, is how to me, this painful emotion unfolds, to become something we can manage.
Tomorrow will be two years for me since Hamada’s death – how can that be? I miss him so naturally the same way that I take a breath each day, he is so much a part of me. It is the time of your thanksgiving celebrations – I shall be thankful for having known this oh! so special man and for the joy he brought into my life, thankful for the gentleness of him, of him loving me and our wonderful time together. I know you will find this holiday very painful and will spend most of the time looking back, thinking of your beloved Dan. Try if you can to think joyously, bringing lightness into your heart, it is difficult I know and somewhat flippant for me to say but I know this can help to think of all he brought into your life during your years together.All that was yours and his alone – precious and unique and perhaps known only to you two. Preserve these memories and hold them close. This day of Thanksgiving will pass like all the others… Embrace your family and your memories of Dan.
I understand well the different feelings of your girls. I faced this too with my boys – they knew well my pain of course, they only had to look at their Mother to see the light had gone out from her eyes. But they were hurting too. My Grandson was in terrible pain – something that worried me so very much but with the help of his good Mother and Father and continued counselling he is doing very well now. As my sister said the other day ” we all miss him so” It is not just us that are raw with pain in the early days. Discussion of my emotions was hard with my sons, for when I saw them they so wanted to cheer me up, not recall my pain. They listened of course but I think they feared of upsetting me all over again. I leaned against them but my youngest son ‘swallowed his pain’ and still does I feel. Your girls will act differently from each other, will be different emotionally but they will adjust to their loss in their own way, for time does take care of that.
Life will never be the same for any of us that have experience such amazing people in our lives and then watch them suffer in the way they did and for so long enduring it all and their absolute bravery. Your beautiful caring daughters watched this over the years too, as my sons saw the terrible changes in dear Hamada and they watched my knowing loss and final acceptance. I salute our precious people, for they deserve much admiration in their forbearance too
I feel I cannot wish you a “Happy Thanksgiving” but you know dear one – we do have much to be thankful for – the love we both knew and experienced with these two wonderful men. The strength we had to learn but would rather have not, the insight into something profound and spiritual – it was a lot and I am thankful now that there is peace.
Blessings and Peace to you dear friend.
Susie x