A Power Within

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So The Start Of Summer ?

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June officially being the start of an English Summer, we all wonder how the weather will be this year,  We are to have a family garden party at Hemingway on the 14th of this month so I am really hoping for a dry bright day. What a difference it makes when the sun is shining from the heavens and the coloured umbrellas are up and the ladies can wear their pretty dresses and  the men can relax from the stress of their working lives with a cooling glass of beer. An English Garden on a sunny day can be the most  perfect place in the world to unwind and spend time catching -up with loved ones. We plan some  fun garden games  for the little ones, a spot of cricket, for the not so little ones!  A light ‘summery’ lunch but what we really need is the good weather, is anyone listening up there? 

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Pain and Marchpane – by Susie Hemingway


You’re just as sweet as almond marzipan
like marchpane on a silver platter,
your feverish eyes in twinkling glimmer,
tell me the story, in never wasted chatter.

I look in on the tableau,and my eyes
can read your heart,
your pain is like a serpent,
a limbless reptile beast,
who once again returns,
when we expect him least.

Come, bring the Charmer and his pipe
to lure with his music,
to draw away the carrying pain
as he worms his way in coiling.

Come! see if I can sway this serpent!
and charm him from this ‘marchpane’
I have the need to slay this beast
for my eyes can read your heart,
for my eyes can read your heart;

but YOUR eyes can see my soul…

All Rights Reserved.
Marzipan photo kind permission of Mitch Erickson
with thanks.

Interesting – Perhaps?

As I try to read all the latest news regarding articles on Multiple Myeloma from the Mayo Clinic. http://www.mayoclinic.org/ I thought this information might be worth passing on, it sounds at the very least, most interesting – take a look at http://www.mayoclinic.org/news2008-sct/4794.html – the intriguing contents are certainly worth a glance. Then of course discuss with your Specialist . I would be grateful for your comments on this.

Family Visits

What a nice long weekend spent at ‘Hemingway’ with our eldest Son, enchanting Daughter-in-Law and very special Grandson. Just a simple weekend gathering, with some good food, and good conversation. My lovely Sister and Brother-in-Law joining us too and Hamada was able to spend precious time with our Grandson, and listening to their laughter and fun was a complete joy. Simple pleasures create such vivid memories in a child’s mind. Our Grandson understands how ill his Grandpa is, he has been told as much as we know, following every step of the way, often adding health advice of his own – “don’t forget kidney beans Grandpa, to help with your kidneys”! We all believe this is the only way for him to deal with this major upset to his little life when the time comes. From the word go, even when he was quite tiny, they developed a very special bond together, spending many fun times and quiet moments in each others company, creating an enviable friendship. His little eyes always sparkle at his Grandpa’s words and the fun they have developed together over these eight years delights him so. Hamada has many things he wishes to say to this little lad that admires him so much. May he have plenty of time to say them …

Village Open Gardens

Blacksmiths Lodge.  

So many of our villagers are keen gardeners, their skills and knowledge are beyond my comprehension. Their knowledge is paramount and their gardens are sanctuary’s of peace and beauty, lovingly tended throughout the year. So when the special  day arrives for them to open their unique gardens to us all, we hope for a sunny dry day. To wander the pretty green lanes, chatting and happy to view these priceless jewels is a joy.  

Open Gardens. By Susie Hemingway.

How glorious the gardens

each and everyone

how extravagant and bursting forth

with riot of perennial fun,

we wandered down the sunlit lanes

on this our lovely ‘open day’.

The splendid evergreens and rosebeds wide

to narrow scented lavender surprise,

walkways of the greenest hues

from red, to yellows and to blues,

the pinks so soft upon your eyes,

geraniums potted on one side.

Hellebores in groups of six

herbaceous borders in pretty mix

cabbages, onions  and chickens too!

fruits and herbs in stunning views

delphiniums  lush in velvet blue,

sturdy potatoes in their pots!

leeks, carrots and shallots

Water features to cool and trickle

fish ponds, rock gardens and plants that tickle!

Many pots and nursery beds

perfumed scented, that turn your head.

Arbour’s, enchanting  ‘rose cascades’

Ah! what a wondrous pleasant day.

 

What a wondrous pleasant day…

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All Rights Reserved @2008                                                              

Something To Soothe.

Hamada enjoying the Sun this week.

As everyone who knows me will testify, I am a great lover of music. Two very lovely songs have come to my ears this week, both will calm and soothe all who need it. So many of my friends who read this blog need such comfort I know. Do try the wonderful “Beloved” and “Coming back to Life” sung so beautifully by Minnie Driver. Both from her Album: Sea Stories.

** The Beast is Back ! **

Such sad news came to us yesterday at Hamada’s regular clinic at Lincoln County Hospital. The result of the recent Bence Jones test – which is one of the markers used – is at 0.13 which means that, although Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant last October he has only achieved six months remission! The beast is back and the Myeloma is active again. This is devastating news, and with the knowledge that at long last his white cell count is up at 4.05 and he was getting stronger against infections, we had so hoped his remission would have been much longer than this. Hamada has now been offered Velcade ( but not yet awhile), a proteasome inhibitor which is used for people who have previously been treated with chemotherapy and have relapsed. Therefore we will start once again with the battle to fight this wretched disease.

Two Years ~ Anniversary of Diagnosis by Susie Hemingway.

Two years, you made two years,
how simply sublime,
my days passed like a struggling river
pushing its direction to the sea,
the fast and furious moments sealed
in vaults of crashing tormented resolve
but stored with crystal clarity.

I stand on the islet like Ishmael
throwing all vehement thoughts in
the stream, torrents of anger,
this sense of sadness
I lay before you and
the currents carry them forth.

Two years, two years!
the river found it hard, the
dams and sluices got in it’s way,
but it’s power pushed them back,
do not give way, my troth intact,
my rage is rushing to the Sea,
for each tiny droplet of strength gathered
will fill the Ocean…

@ Copyright 2008

Photo Courtesy of Matt Rutherford
http://www.mattrutherford.com/ all rights reserved.

Update

As the UK bank holiday approaches, we wish all our friends and family a fun spring weekend.
Hamada continues well without any serious problems to attend to. His recovery from his recent bout with pneumonia has been very slow. Most days Hamada returns to sleep, waking only for lunch and then he gets up in the afternoon. I believe he is getting a little stronger, but cannot manage more, he is still very weak. He enjoys some television, light reading and an occasional game of cards, still managing to beat us! He does enjoy all his meals eating really well, he has recently put on some weight and has now reach a remarkable 58kg. He does not venture out much, only for the Hospital visits, but as the weather becomes warmer the garden will beckon d.v. Love to you all from us both.

Going For The Cure

I have just finished reading the engrossing “Going for the Cure” by Francesca Morosani Thompson MD, which although written in 1989 is an inspiration to any patient with Myeloma.
In 1986 Francesca Thompson -a 42 year old orthopaedic surgeon, wife and mother – was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. In February 1987 she became the first patient with Multiple Myeloma to receive an anti-body treated autologous bone marrow transplant. It is written in the form of a present-tense, first person journal. There are many valuable insights about life as a myeloma sufferer and about the process of a stem cell transplant. I found it uplifting and compelling.
Can be found at The International Myeloma Foundation Los Angeles. or http:// www.amazon.com

Rescuing Providence

To spur Hamada onwards a book written by Lieutenant Michael Morse of Providence, Rhode Island, called -Rescuing Providence -and signed especially for him, winged it’s way across the pond this week. Michael Morse has been an EMT and firefighter for 16 years. A highly decorated Lieutenant in the Providence Fire Department, where he works on Rescue 1. This book contains short stories of 34 nonstop hours in the life of a big-city fireman/emergency medical technician. Hamada will enjoy reading how these brave men and woman make such a difference in people’s lives. We too have much to thank our ambulance service for, in the saving of Hamada’s life on two occasions, and I respectfully thank Lieutenant Michael Morse for his wonderful words of encouragement and lovely comments and all good wishes.
http://rescuing-providence.blogspot.com

Just a Little Update

Hamada’s still smiling but,

Yesterday’s visit to Lincoln Hospital, did not bring us much joy. Hamada’s current blood tests show the white blood cell reading, much to our disappointment, has dropped back yet again to 1.05 and his Haemoglobin is at a poor 10.08 He is now to have twice weekly injections of Neupogen – Filgrastim – in an effort to treat the Neutropenia and help increase the number of white cells, which in turn will help his body to fight infection . Now look here white Blood Cells!do your work and just get out and fight!!

Secrets Of The Soul – by Susie Hemingway

In purple see the changing light
the stormy days to passive nights,
in secrets of the soul display
a campaign like tinders falls astray,
and yet, as seasons daily change
you adjust to fight on moving range.
In repetition all a part
this set-piece for you
that’s learnt by heart.

I watch thee, I watch thee,
intrepid, fearless
and monumentally brave,
to eagerly face another day,
this gargantuan task,
in febrile waves you make,
the tiny steps you sweetly take.
This rape upon your ravished frame
comes back in haunting waves again,
this personal onslaught so powerfully dealt
in secrets of the soul displayed,
the campaign like tinders falls astray.

And yet in courage you edify
and make my heart to often cry…

@ Copyright 2008

What a great Site !

A really special web-site for all sufferers and carers of people with Cancer can be found at http://www.whatnow.org.uk/
A great place to meet and make friends with others, who have also been affected in some way by Cancer. This most informative site has some great blogs, videos, people to meet, forums for friendly chats and some wonderful photos of celebrities from Mary McCartney, showing pictures of Darcey Bussell, Jude Law, Sir Paul McCartney, Gordon Ramsey and more.
This great web-site is certainly worth a look. I do recommend it.

The Fight Goes On

Almost two years ago my beloved husband Hamada was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a Cancer of the Plasma Cells. He was informed that he would not survive longer than six months. Never accepting, we have been fighting for almost two years to push back the time he has with us, following every procedure and every possible treatment, and doing everything we can to help and support him. This dear man has such courage, dealing with his pain, with no complaints. A lesson for us all I think.

I have written these poems to convey my feelings and to help me to understand why this has happened to this kind gentle Egyptian, who is still quite young. He never says “why me” perhaps if he did, it would be easier to bear, So we continue our journey with hope and the joy we have just being together – he is very tired but still he smiles that beautiful smile every single day.

The words of the wonderful poet KHALIL GIBRAN say it so much better than I can…

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you, yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions
may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him…

~

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